A rant on love, soulmates and the like

Is there a soulmate for everyone?
I mean does someone just draw two names out of a hat and say, "These two people are destined to be together for the rest of their lives." ?
And if they do... is it just chance that brings you together or is it planned?
Are there arranged meetings? Do you pass that person on the street and get a funny feeling in your stomach, a feeling that you can't explain and maybe pass off as heartburn?
What if the person you're supposed to be with dies? Do you get a second chance?
Does that person pick another name out of a hat?
Is it just the so called "good" people that get to have this happiness?
What about the "bad"? The ones that have never really reached their full potential? That strive to be mediocre and nothing really more?
Do they get one?
Are they allowed to cry? To want? To need?
I feel hollow, my days mesh into nights that mesh into more days.....
when time stops and things are passing by almost surreal like..
it makes you wonder if there is a god, a heaven or if when we die it's just to go into a hole in the ground and rot.
Some people fear death, I am one of them, death is eternal... you can't take it back, and if really nothing happens to us after we die than that's it. Game over.
Am I one of those so called bad people? Am I mediocre and nothing more? Some days I think so... the one person whose spirit needs lifting, I can not lift for them...
I don't know what a soulmate is... I know I have great loves, people who love me and who I love uncondintionally.... but soulmate is something much more complex then that... maybe I'm still so young that I don't understand...