Return of the Drama Queen and Andrew

More dramatics from Jenn, what a surprise...

I can't sleep. It's almost noon. I keep having these old memories flash before my eyes. I thought maybe I was craving some nostalgia so I opened up my box o' memories to read over old cards, notes from Pete (love you baby) and then I came across all of the old Andrew stuff and it made me sad.
Not because I still want to be with him... But because it reminds me of how shitty I treated him. He deserved more then that. I remember how I felt in each picture and when he wrote each word.
I saw him a week or so ago after what, a year? and he looked happy.
He told me about his new girlfriend and stories of camp and all of the shenannigans he and James have been getting into.
But he looked at me like he always did, with love and genuine admiration and I find myself thinking about it regularly... because I don't deserve it.
I turned this boy, into a man... he worshipped me and I figuratively spit in his face.... told him I didn't want him, pushed him away, countless times and then pulled him back in again.
I cry happy tears knowing that he is over me and can be happy with someone new, only I wish I was a better girlfriend memory... does anybody reading this ever feel like that?
Do you ever wish you could take back every nasty word or hurtful action? Just to make that persons life a little bit better?
I wish I could do that for Andrew.
He's a very good person, and I am not... not where it counts.
That's just my little blurb..

Under my sisters influence I have been listening to a lot of Michael Buble and I think that his song "Home" relates to the way I feel right now. I'll post it for all of you lovely readers...all 2 of you. I just want to clarify to my darling live in boyfriend of almost two years that this is a soul searching song and does not imply in any way that I have any lingering feelings for the aforementioned ex-flame. xoxo

"Home"
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from
where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day
has come And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be allright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home