Learning to be yourself

Why is it that couples always seem to pick the most ridiculous things to fight about?
Pete and I always seem to get into these intense arguments where the one who is wrong should ultimately concede, but just plain refuses to do so.
After one of these famous fights tonight I was crying and asking Pete why we fight like this. He said it’s because we get to make up.
He’s right.
We’ll hold each other and kiss and just apologize.
That is what is important at the end of the day.
Yes, you can fly off the handle, scream and shout and cry.
But when you regain the calm attitude that makes you realize that you were actually wrong, you can maturely apologize to one another and go back to your peaceful existence together. Well, mostly peaceful.
That’s what it means to have an adult relationship.
I think it’s the most amazing thing…
As children and teens when we start to experience with the opposite sex, everything is always about pleasing that other person.
You dance on eggshells and disguise who you are to prevent them from seeing that you are actually a human being *WITH FLAWS!!!*
Then one day, one or the other loses it…there’s a fight and it’s over.
Just like that.
Because as partners in a romantic relationship, there is no cause for fighting.
WRONG!
I love that I can see that now.
I learned this lesson with Pete.
We had our first huge fight and I remember telling him goodbye and assuming the relationship was over.
He caught me and explained to me that yes, he was angry… but he still loved me and wanted me and thought it was ridiculous for me to simply walk away.
I started to let in more of myself, and with time I was so comfortable with him a lot of my inhibitions flew out the window.
I would sing loudly in the shower… let him see me naked with the lights on…
I used to be paranoid about anyone seeing me without makeup on my face because I hated my complexion.
Pete was constantly reassuring me that I was most beautiful without makeup and eventually, I didn’t care about it anymore.
Sure I still wear makeup when I want a bit of a boost but I can be myself.
And he loves me.
I hope that everyone is able to learn that lesson.
You’re always going to have fears and doubts and insecurities but that’s just what it is to be a woman.
Chances are, the most beautiful person you know feels fat or ugly or simple minded.
Everyone is afraid of what others think of them.
The fear of rejection, the failing grade.But remember that the only grade that really matters is the one you give yourself.