Some father...

I am angry tonight that I have been yet again, treated like a child.
No matter how old I get, I am not worthy to be included in grown up discussion.
At least in my fathers eyes.
My mom called me today, crying.
My father had called her up and told her that for Christmas Eve, we would be having dinner at the Friesens. They are our cousins who we have not spoken to in years because of the way they have treated our family.
Now that we no longer live at home, Dad seems to think that it is time to recreate a bond with his so called "brothers".
Fine, just fine.
But not for Christmas dinner.
Mom and I are taking cooking classes at Deluca's because mom wanted to make Christmas Eve this year an Italian dinner.
And I am so honored that she wants me to help her.
Mom and I are really starting to bond and it's become very important to us.
My mom was absolutely furious at him.
All the Freisen family does on Christmas is sit around and get shit faced which gives them the excuse to act like assholes.
For the past 15 years we have had Christmas Eve at home.
We have a big dinner, open a few presents, go to bed.
We like it that way.
Christmas is supposed to be that way for us.
So anyways I called up my dad after I calmed my mother down and told him exactly how I felt.
I told him that we are having Christmas Eve dinner at home and that is that.
He yelled at me, told me not to lecture him and said we would "have the dinner where we fucking have the dinner"
Meaning he thought - fine discussion ended. We're having dinner at Bob and Judy's
Mom and I have talked about it in detail and if that is what they want to do, then fuck em
If it is just the two of us (3 with Pete) and we have to order a pizza we are going to have an Italian dinner at home on Christmas Eve.
I totally back my mother up and I refuse to go to Bob and Judy's on Christmas Eve.
I am so angry right now, and hurt
My father says I have no right to be involved in the situation in the first place.
But it's too late because my mother pulled me in already.
So whatever, I don't care.
If that's the way it's going to be then fine.
I have given my father chance after chance to have a relationship with me and he constantly flips it back in my face.
Maybe I should just stop trying.
Maybe I don't need a father who lies to me, who hurts me and who doesn't have time for me or anyone else but himself.
This ramble might not make any sense but it has helped me let off some steam.
That's all I care about.
I need a vacation from my life

Jenn